Reach out.... With Revathy
Revathy, noted actor, director and social activist will answer your questions on this page.
If you have a problem that puzzles you or you need some advice or you wish to seek an alternative opinion,
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Revathy will be very happy to help you with answers.
Q: My wife is unable to conceive, so after ten years of fruitless
hopes, we decided to adopt a baby boy. Six years ago, we brought home a 10-month
baby from an orphanage close by. At three, when we started going to school, we
thought he was a slow child and would just take a little more time to pick up
things. But with repeated problems at school, after a professional assessment he
has been diagnosed as having a learning disability. I know it is wrong, but I
have begun to resent the boy, especially since I know he is not my child,
although my wife still seems to love him. What do I do?
J.M.Mumbai.
A: I am remainded of a beautiful dialogue in the film “Anjali” that I had
acted in. The sister and brother of Anjali, a child with cerebral palsy, are
upset that she happens to be their sister, when she could have been born
elsewhere. The father explains, “When Gods decided on a child who needed special
care, they started to look out for a family who was capable of caring more than
others. They then spotted our family and gave Anjali to us. So we have to give
her more love and extra care.” This convinced the children and they learnt to
love and care for Anjali.In the same way, if you look at ypur son, as a child
who needs that extra love and caring from you and that is why he was brought in
your home, you will be able to love him espite the fact that he is adopted.A
child is a child and whatever has happened to him is not his fault.only you can
help yourself to change your attitude and help him to lead a better life.Love
can help in a way that no medicine can.
Q: I often get the feeling that people are not listening when I speak.
What do I do be heard? I am blind.
K.Ram,Chennai.
A: Dear Ram, maybe you could just question them as you talk, like don’t
you think so?” “Am I right?” or what do you think about What I said?” or words
to the effect, just to get a response from the person you are talking to. This
will help you feel confident to proceed, further.
But basically, if you are with people you know, just tell them the truth – that
you feel they are not lestening and would like them to be more responsive. Andf
then, you just have to learn to trust them.
Q: I would like to admit my deaf child in a “normal “school, at the
same time I am afraid. Would you kindly advice me on the pros and cons.
Jayanthi.
A: Jayanthi, you are doing the right thing for your child by wanting to
admit him /her in a normal school. The child might take time to adjust to the
attitude of other children towards him/ her, but with your support, your child
will be able to overcome most of the ‘cons’.
Q: I have a son who is blind. I don’t think either my relatives or my
friends have come to terms with it. When visitors come, I ask my son to leave
the room, so that their “Oh poor boy… how did this happen?” kind of talk will
not hurt him. But now I find that my son is upset by this. What should I do?
Vasantha pai, Pune.
A: Of course your son is upset, Vasantha! I would be too, if I were in
his place! Keeping him away or asking him to leave, will only serve to hurt his
self esteem and make him a recluse. It’s your duty to prepare him for the
outside world so that he can lead a normal life --- not try to run away from
realities. Family support is most important. Hold your head high and appreciate
your son what he is and be proud of him. You will find that the people who
presently do not understand automatically begin to do so and begin to
appreciate him too.
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