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Q: My wife is unable to conceive, so after ten years of fruitless hopes, we decided to adopt a baby boy. Six years ago, we brought home a 10-month baby from an orphanage close by. At three, when we started going to school, we thought he was a slow child and would just take a little more time to pick up things. But with repeated problems at school, after a professional assessment he has been diagnosed as having a learning disability. I know it is wrong, but I have begun to resent the boy, especially since I know he is not my child, although my wife still seems to love him. What do I do?

J.M.Mumbai. 

A: I am remainded of a beautiful dialogue in the film “Anjali” that I had acted in. The sister and brother of Anjali, a child with cerebral palsy, are upset that she happens to be their sister, when she could have been born elsewhere. The father explains, “When Gods decided on a child who needed special care, they started to look out for a family who was capable of caring more than others. They then spotted our family and gave Anjali to us. So we have to give her more love and extra care.” This convinced the children and they learnt to love and care for Anjali. In the same way, if you look at your son, as a child who needs that extra love and caring from you and that is why he was brought in your home, you will be able to love him despite the fact that he is adopted. A child is a child and whatever has happened to him is not his fault. only you can help yourself to change your attitude and help him to lead a better life. Love can help in a way that no medicine can.

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